Why everybody who is studying law should kill themselves right now

I feel strange writing this, as I don't actually study law. But hey. A request is a request. If you have any others, feel free to lodge your request in comment form. I think there's two others I have to write first, but I will get around to you eventually.

NB: Yes, I did study legal, I do know that in Australia there are no such things as "lawyers". But seriously, it gets hella annoying writing "barristers/solicitors" in every point. Lawyers is so much quicker. So just...for the next five minutes (or however long it takes you to read this) pretend you're American. Thank you. Much appreciated.

NBB: No offence is intended to any law students or wannabe law students. Blame Jess. It's all her fault.

10 Reasons Why Everybody Studying Law Should Kill Themselves:

1. Law is a shit and unnecessarily difficult course, therefore all those studying it would actually be doing themselves a favour.
2. Law is a shit and unnecessarily expensive course, and it's highly likely that (unless by some freako chance you actually score a decent, high-paying job...but the odds of that a slim, as there are too many lawyers, and not enough of said decent, high-paying jobs...) your children's children's children will still be trying to pay back your uni fees. Save them the pain.
   
3. There are too many lawyers/solicitors/barristers out there. Seriously. We don't need any more.
4. The world would actually be a better place without lawyers/barristers/solicitors in it. I mean, think about it. Firstly, lawyers are the scum of the earth. That's one point. And secondly, people might ACTUALLY be forced to solve their own problems. In family law matters, this would be particularly good, as everyone would stop sueing each other for ridiculous reasons, and thereby might actually develop some common decency.
5. The absence of these people would mean more available resources for the rest of the students at UOW. In other words, less people hogging up space in the UniBar, library, duck ponds and coffee facilities, greater access to hard-to-steal outdoor tables and chairs, and more classrooms available so that people in the, say, Education department, don't have to have classes in the shitty demountables at the back of the uni (read: middle of nowhere).
   
6. No law students (and hence, no lawyers) could potentially cause a raise in the wages/salaries of other occupations. Seriously, lawyers earn way too much. That money could be better spent on providing other occupations with a higher pay packet, such as TEACHERS or nurses or whatever, considering that their services are exponentially more valuable.
   
7. There would be a decrease in the amount of shitty law-themed movies and television shows. If there were no law students, there would be no lawyers, and therefore everyone would eventually forget what a lawyer actually is. Which would swiftly put an end to shitty court-room dramas, and excessively long movies of a similar variety. A prime example of this would mean no more films like Philadelphia. And that would not be a loss AT ALL.
   
8. The rainforests would be saved. Have you ever seen those law text books?? There is easily five trees worth of paper contained in each one. If law students killed themselves, then we wouldn't need to produce the text books anymore, and thus trees around the world would be saved. PLUS everything that solicitors/barristers do in the future need to be recorded on paper. PAPER. And when you consider how many disputes there are daily, that's a hell of a lot of paper. Again, pointless waste of natural resources.
   
9. Global warming and climate change effects would be minimised, if not eventually reversed. See above. If we weren't killing the trees, then would still be available to offset carbon dioxide emissions, and our world wouldn't be doomed to hell.
10. And finally... No one worth knowing studies law, so it's really no loss at all.
    

Really.

(Bahahahahahahahaaaa.)

:)