Earlier in the life-span of this blog, I made the promise that if anybody told me what they wanted me to blog about, I would duly blog about it. Well. Upon posting that, I received a request from one Jessmindalala, stating:
"I think you should blog about me.
Like, a whole post dedicated to me.
Get creative.
(But nice creative; not mean...)"
So, as duly requested, here is a whole blog dedicated to Jessica. (See. I do good on my word. As painful as it is to blog a whole freaking post about Jess, I'm still doing it. SO THERE.) In fact, this is actually an ode to Jessica.
I call it: "Her name is Jessica Anne". (In case you didn't pick that up by the blog title).
And this song should be sung to the tune of "Working Class Man", by Jimmy Barnes.
(Please note: In order to make this song rhyme, I had to use Jess’ middle name, even though I have never referred to Jess as “Jessica Anne” in my entire life. But hey. The things we do for art. Or music. Or boredom. Or whatever.)
So without further ado, may I present you with...
Her Name Is Jessica Anne.
Procrastinating hard to make a living,
Not even on the minimum wage,
Her boss seems shit, but she puts up with it,
Hoping she’ll work for Cold Rock someday.
Woah-oh-oh-oh, her name is Jessica Anne.
*inspirational music interlude*
She’s memorised the Harry Potter series.
And admits she’d go Jason Mraz,
Her r’s look like v’s, much too my displease,
But she can write pointless lists with pizzazz.
Woah-oh-oh-oh, her name is Jessica Anne.
Woah, woah, woah.
She played Jesus in a movie (woah-oh-oh)
And once lived in a cave (woah-oh-oh)
Was a princess far west,
But still got lost in the local tropical rainforest (woah-oh-oh)
She’s a simple girl,
With a bladder that’s always full and on demand.
Woah.
Her name is Jessica Anne.
She studies law at Wollongong Uni,
And is a champion of the midnight e-mail,
Every assignment, is left to the last minute,
But she still manages not to fail.
She’s a spelling and grammar nazi,
So unless you want a fight,
Make sure it’s ‘i' before ‘e’, except after ‘c’,
And dear god, use your apostrophes right,
Woah-oh-oh-oh, her name is Jessica Anne.
Ohhhhh yeah, yes it is.
Well her name is Jessica Anne.
Ohh, ohh ohh oh,
I tell you she is Jessica Anne!
*repeat and fade*
